What Does Sexual Repression Mean?

Sexual repression is when a person suppresses or ignores their sexual thoughts, desires, and urges. Internal and external factors can cause someone to feel like their desires are inappropriate or unacceptable, including personal experiences or beliefs, religious teachings, and societal and cultural norms.

Someone who is sexually repressed might avoid intimate relationships or feel embarrassed or ashamed when thinking of or talking about sex.

How Does Sexual Repression Happen?

Personal, cultural, and social factors can all shape how a person views and experiences their sexuality. These influences (such as the following) can create lasting impressions that lead to a negative view of sex, causing people to repress their sexual desires or feel uncomfortable with their sexuality: 

• Cultural and societal norms: Cultures and societies that promote conservative views on sexuality can lead people to internalize beliefs that sexual thoughts, behaviors, or expressions are wrong or shameful. This pressure often causes people to avoid openly exploring or discussing their sexuality.
• Religious beliefs: Some religions teach that certain sexual behaviors or desires are immoral or sinful and that sexual activities are only appropriate in specific contexts, such as within marriage. This can create a deep-rooted sense of guilt or shame around sexuality if people don’t fit the “mold” religion has imposed upon them.
• Family upbringing: Growing up in a household where sex is a taboo topic or where open discussions about emotions and relationships are not modeled can lead to sexual repression and stigmas around intimacy and sexual desire.
• Past trauma or negative experiences: Experiencing trauma, such as abuse or assault, can lead to avoidance of sexual thoughts or expressions as a protective mechanism. People with a trauma history may have long-lasting discomfort or fear surrounding sex and sexuality.
• Self-esteem issues: People who struggle with self-image or have insecurities about their bodies may find it challenging to feel comfortable in intimate situations, leading them to suppress their sexual feelings.

Effects and How to Tell

People who are sexually repressed don’t necessarily view it that way but may consider it as part of their personality or values. Signs of sexual repression can include: 

• Discomfort with nudity, whether their own or other people’s nakedness 
• Experiencing shame, embarrassment, or guilt in response to natural sexual thoughts or desires
• Feeling anxious before or during sex for no apparent reason 
• Feeling guilty or shameful after sexual activity with a partner or masturbation 
• Feeling uneasy or embarrassed when discussing or thinking about sexuality or sexual activity 
• Holding strict beliefs about what is “right” or “wrong” in sexuality and relationships 
• Refraining from physical closeness or affection in relationships
• Showing little to no interest in sexual activity, even in otherwise loving relationships
• Viewing sexual interests or desires as flawed, wrong, or taboo 

Sexual repression can affect your overall physical and psychological health and intimate relationships, as follows:

• Emotional and psychological impacts: Repressed sexuality can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and anxiety. Over time, these emotions can contribute to low self-worth, self-esteem, and depression.
• Physical symptoms: Chronic stress from repressing sexual feelings can sometimes lead to physical symptoms like headaches, chronic pain, digestive problems, and sexual dysfunction, such as low libido, painful intercourse, or erectile dysfunction
• Relationship challenges: Sexual repression can create emotional distance and intimacy barriers in relationships, making it difficult to connect with a partner. Sexual repression can lead to communication difficulties, misunderstandings, and unmet sexual needs. 
• Hypersexuality: Suppressing natural sexual desires doesn’t make them disappear—they can build up over time. This can lead to hypersexuality, in which a person engages in frequent or compulsive sexual behaviors as a way to release or cope with these pent-up emotions.

Repression vs. Frustration 

Sexual repression and sexual frustration both involve unfulfilled desires and are often confused, but they are distinct concepts, as follows: 

• Sexual repression involves the suppression of sexual thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It is a conscious or unconscious effort to deny or avoid sexual expression.
• Sexual frustration is a feeling of agitation or distress when your sexual needs or desires are unfulfilled. Sexual frustration develops when sexual needs are unmet, whether due to not having a partner, experiencing physical or emotional barriers that prevent orgasm, or feeling dissatisfied with sexual experiences.

If You Are Questioning Your Identity or Orientation 

Growing up in a society that may include homophobia, transphobia, or heteronormativity exposes people to negative attitudes about same-sex attraction and gender diversity. For LGBTQ+ people, this can mean being socialized to view non-heterosexual identities as somehow “abnormal,” “immoral,” or “unacceptable.”

People experiencing this form of repression—sometimes called “internalized homophobia”—often experience deep internal struggles, feeling the need to suppress their true identity to avoid rejection, criticism, or condemnation. This can make it much harder to accept and explore their own identity. For many, repression of gender or sexual identity can lead to exploring sexual orientation later in life, which may contribute to feelings of isolation or depression. 

Despite societal messages that may suggest otherwise, being gender diverse or non-heterosexual is completely normal and valid. In many cases, surrounding yourself with a supportive community, finding affirming resources, and connecting with others who share similar experiences can help you embrace this part of your identity.

Releasing Desires in a Healthy Way

Learning to release sexual desires healthily can improve your emotional and physical well-being and foster meaningful relationships. Depending on your needs and comfort level, this may involve working on self-acceptance on your own or with professional guidance.

Without Professional Help 

If you are looking for healthy ways to release desires on your own, there are several ways to develop a positive outlook on sex and sexuality, such as:

• Self-education: Reading articles and books or watching videos about sexuality can offer insights that help normalize and validate sexual desires, reducing guilt or shame.
• Journaling or creative outlets: Writing down feelings, fantasies, and concerns about sexuality in a private journal can offer a safe outlet for expression. Creative outlets like art, music, or dance can also help release pent-up emotions. 
• Mindfulness and relaxation techniques: Meditation, breathing exercises, or yoga can help you become more in tune with your body and feelings. 
• Exploring solo sexual expression: Masturbation is a normal, healthy way to understand your desires and learn what brings pleasure without external judgment. 

With Professional Help 

Professional guidance can offer personalized tools and perspectives for those seeking deeper support or struggling with the emotional effects of repression. Examples include:

• Sex therapy: A sex therapist can help you explore and understand your sexual feelings, helping you build confidence and overcome shame associated with sexual desires.
• LGBTQ+ affirmative counseling: If you’re questioning your gender identity or sexual orientation, working with an LGBTQ+ affirmative counselor knowledgeable about gender and sexuality issues can provide a supportive space to discuss and explore your feelings.
• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT techniques can help change negative beliefs surrounding sex and sexuality, leading to healthier attitudes and behaviors.

Summary

Sexual repression involves suppressing or denying natural sexual desires, often due to societal, religious, or cultural pressures, personal beliefs, or trauma. This repression can lead to shame, intimacy issues, and relationship challenges.

Fortunately, there are ways to work through sexual repression and embrace your sexuality. Self-reflection and exploration, education, and working with a sex therapist can help address sexual repression and foster self-acceptance and a more balanced attitude about sex and sexuality.